I heard from Rich today that I’m going to be a crotchety old man. I believe he’s projec\e2qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq1
sorry,that was Alexander’s addition. Alexander is one of the two cats that Willie and I got yesterday. Check out the Time for a New Cat entry to hear what it’s like buying a cat in Berkeley. Oops,I mean,‘adopting a cat’in Berkeley. “Buying a cat”is so 90′s.
Alexander is going to be good if he keeps at it. Unfortunately,you have to understand ‘cat’to read it.
Anyway,I was bragging about how I learned the ropes at Ikea. You do not go up the escalator,otherwise you get caught in the Ikea maze. If you’ve been you know what I’m talking about. From office furniture,to living room,to bedroom,to ….. on and on. And along the pathway,you have to deal with the rubber neckers. They walk along real slow like the drivers on the freeway witnessing a traffic accident. And just as you’re about to pass on the left they cut you off. They always have lots of help,because they bring their whole families. I mean the WHOLE family. The kids,the adults,the grandparents,…
And of course the grandparents walk extra slow because they are walking with a cane and their feet hurt. Just as you think you can pass a couch or a table obstruct your path. And just beyond them are the proud parents who bring their kids and the strollers to Ikea to show them off to all of the other consumers. They really have no goal. No quest. Just hoping that something pops up that would help make their home look like an Ikea staged living room or staged kitchen.
Sometimes you can cut through the furniture but most of the time there is a large family there with their large children eating snowcones and jujube’s blocking all possible throughways.
So,your trapped. You continue following the meandering road until your next opportunity.
But the key is the shortcuts. Most of the large families don’t know about these. I’ll give you the start. When you enter the store,pass the escalator on the left and then go through the door on the left. Then go straight ahead and take the stairs to get to the restaurant.
If you’re looking for curtains,turn right and go through the passageway and turn left. Sometimes you’ll find some families there but its usually mothers with their gay sons helping to pick out curtains.
Please send $25.00 for a map to the shortcuts. This will make your ikea shopping much more enjoyable. And I’ll even throw in a schedule that will let you know when the large families will be there feeding.